Since the technician told me yesterday “it’s not looking good” I have been waiting for my doctor’s office to contact me and let me know how to proceed.
Month: February 2016
Loss – again
The feeling when the ultrasound technician says she’s sorry but there is no heartbeat.
Knowing that for the second time I have not been able to have a baby makes everything feel awful. I feel sadness, anger, hurt, frustration and want to know what the hell is wrong with my body!
I want a baby but I don’t know if I can go through this all over again… The waiting, anxiety, fear.
Worry
There is something so worrisome and scary about being in the early stages of pregnancy. Especially when you have already experienced a miscarriage.
Yesterday at the ultrasound, they found a heartbeat but the baby was measuring smaller than it should be for this age. Doctor said maybe the dates were wrong. The bloodwork from last week did show signs of improvement and the levels were increasing. HMMMMMMF
Every time I go to the bathroom I get scared to see if there is spotting. I get worried every little back ache or stomach pain I experience. I fret all day and am so scared and worried. It is also isolating because nothing anyone says can make it better, make the worry or fear go away.
This is supposed to be a happy experience but so far it has been nothing but scary and full of worry.
I’m excited to be pregnant and have a baby but I don’t know how I can go for the next several months without being anxious all the time.
mersworld 